We all get into arguments from time to time. But how do you deal with those people who consistently want to fight and act like they are always right? Contradicting them just feeds their desire for conflict and will frustrate and cause strife. Here are a five alternative methods for dealing with this type of difficult person.

1. Smile.
   Deflect the anger. Ask questions designed to get the other person to think about why he or she is upset. it’s very difficult to argue with someone who is smiling and conversing without resistance.

2. Let them think your point of view is their own.
   To do this requires some subtlety but is very powerful against extremely stubborn people who will never admit they are wrong. The trick is to ask questions designed to manipulate the person into arriving at your conclusion “on their own.”

3. Admit your mistakes.
   If you did something wrong or made a mistake, just be humble and admit it. This sounds like you’re conceding defeat, but actually this wins immediately since it takes the combative person completely off guard. One of two things usually happens next: either the other person will feel bad for even bringing up the issue and will suddenly be very helpful, or they won’t know how to respond immediately which gives you the opportunity to say something leading the conversation into a more productive direction.

4. Shut up.

   “One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do
   and always a clever thing to say.”
   ~ Will Durant

   This is an especially strong technique when you know you’re right and you suspect the other person knows it but isn’t ready to admit it. Let the person fumble and squirm around while you just listen.

5. Do Not Attack
   Whatever you do, do not attack the other person. Sure, you might know the exact thing to say to hit ‘em where it hurts. You might be cold and calculating with your logic and reduce the argument (and the person’s self-esteem) to dust. Or you could follow the techniques above and come away from the argument with an ally instead of a foe. Your choice.

The Success Solution: How You May be Preventing your Own Success

Recently, I worked with a client who found himself in a couple of situations many of us have either experienced, or fear experiencing. He called me, feeling down, frustrated and anxious about his future. In the same week, he was laid off at work and experienced the end of a six-year relationship. Ouch!

As we explored his situation, we discovered a couple of things. First, he really didn’t like his job and it was not leading him towards the financial success he desired. And second, the relationship that ended was an unhappy one for quite some time. Yet, he wanted to hold on to both of them and felt upset over what had occurred.

You see, many of us find ourselves in similar situations in life. We have something that isn’t quite what we want, but if we were to lose it, great fear and insecurity arises.

Why?

There are two forces that drive your life and prevent you from really having what you desire: attachments and aversions.

We become attached to what is comfortable for us — i.e., things that give us a false sense of having what we want; things that temporarily make us feel better for brief moments, only to leave us feeling rotten later. These attachments can include unfulfilling jobs, relationships that lack passion, bad habits such as smoking or overeating, and thousands of other possibilities.

Our attachments often prevent us from making the space in our life to have what we really desire. If life is a buffet, we have our plates full of food we don’t really like, meaning there isn’t any room for dessert.

Hanging on to that unfulfilling job for its false sense of security prevented this man from finding work he feels excited about doing — or starting a business of his own. His attachment to the mediocre relationship prevented him from exploring new possibilities and meeting someone who really loved him, and someone he really loved in turn.

When he saw this for himself, his energy took a dramatic turn in the positive direction. He saw new opportunity in his life instead of fear and loss. This one simple realization could likely change the course of his entire life.

We also have aversions. These are the things in life that feel uncomfortable to us. It could be making an important phone call, or asking out someone we are really attracted to, or getting in front of a room and sharing our brilliance. Aversions prevent us from moving forward, taking action and manifesting what we desire. Aversions prevent you from acting on your immense potential.

What are attachments and aversions and how can we overcome them?

Attachments and aversions are nothing more than feelings. Many of us say “I am frustrated” — but the truth is, “I feel frustrated.” I am having a feeling; I am not the feeling.

There is a wonderful technique called the Sedona Method that teaches a simple set of techniques that allow us to effortlessly “let go” of any unwanted thought or feeling — any attachment or aversion. With these blocks removed, you will feel more confidence, and more at ease and more willing to take the bold actions that produce success.

We can fight and struggle and force our way to success. We really can. I know. I have done it. But, ultimately, it is a hard, stressful, frustrating journey. I think you know what I mean.

Or, we can learn to easily overcome the resistance that creates a flow to life. When we overcome our attachments and aversions, we become truly free to be, do and have whatever we desire. It’s easy. It really is.

I encourage you to learn more about any program that teaches you to “let go.” It is the most powerful personal development tool I have ever learned. My favorite program on the market is the Sedona Method course — the original, and still the best, program of its kind.

The link below offers a free newsletter to learn more, and you can also order a free 2-hour DVD and introductory CD that includes a demonstration of one of the basic releasing techniques they teach. I encourage you to experience this program for yourself and discover the exhilarating possibility of true freedom from your attachments and aversions.

Wishing you all the success and abundance you can allow into your life,

posted by: John R. Barker

Toothbrushing

What’s the best toothbrush? The brand is not as important as the size and texture of the brush. You should always choose a soft or ultra soft toothbrush with rounded bristle ends. The brush head shouldn’t be too big for your mouth. It is difficult to reach all the places where plaque hides with a large brush. Look for compact sizes, they have smaller brush heads but the handles are for adults. Replace your toothbrush on a regular basis, every two to three months or when you notice the bristles fraying. Toothbrushes with fraying bristles won’t clean as well and they can irritate the gums. Children are likely to wear out toothbrushes more quickly because their brushing strokes are not yet perfected and they have a tendency to chew on the bristles. Parents should keep a close eye on their children’s brushes. Toothbrushes should be allowed to air-dry between uses. If you brush frequently, alternating between toothbrushes is recommend.

How often should you brush?

If you are healthy and free of periodontal disease, two to three times a day should be adequate. In the morning after breakfast and before bed are the most important times to brush. Try to schedule additional brushings around meals. If you have a form of periodontal disease, increased brushing is necessary. I usually recommend a minimum of three times and up to five times per day. Controlling plaque is a tough business. Many of my patients keep a toothbrush at work to make mid-day brushing convenient. The key is to make your routine as uncomplicated as possible. The optimum amount of time to brush is two minutes. Two of your daily tooth-brushings should be for two minutes and supplement with shorter brushing times if necessary. If you time yourself the next time you brush, you might be surprised how quickly you go.

What is the best brushing technique?

Since everyone’s mouth is different, individual instruction given by your dentist or dental hygienist is essential. Unless you use a proper technique, you can brush five times a day and still not get your teeth clean. There are some basic techniques to follow in proper tooth-brushing:
1. Focus your soft bristled toothbrush at the gumline. This is where plaque hides.
2. Begin by placing the bristles of your toothbrush at a 45-degree angle on the outside of your teeth (cheek side) where the gums and teeth meet.
3. Move the brush in a circular motion brushing two to three teeth at a time.
4. Use light pressure so the bristles glide gently between the teeth.
5. The same method is used on the inside (tongue side) surfaces of the back teeth.
6. To brush the inside of the front teeth, hold the brush vertically using a back-and-forth motion.
7. Then move to the biting surfaces using the same back-and-forth motion.
8. Finish by brushing your tongue.
9. Bacteria that forms on your tongue, especially on the base (back), can cause mouth odor. Start at the tip and work your way back down the middle, then each side. Special tongue cleaning devices are sold, but your brush is adequate.
Parents will need to assist their children until they are about five years old. Their small motor skills are still developing and it is impossible for them to be effective alone. I recommend that children be allowed to brush alone first, then parents should brush them gain.

Flossing

Is flossing really necessary? In a word—yes. Periodontal disease in adults starts primarily between the teeth. Plaque forms mainly at the gumline (where the teeth and gums meet) and in between the teeth. Brushing takes care of the gumline and flossing reaches between the teeth. Think of it this way: There are five sides to each tooth. When you brush, only three are cleaned (top, outside, and inside). That means the surfaces on the sides (between) of the teeth are untouched. The plaque has a protected environment, free to damage the teeth, gums and bone. There is no real substitute for flossing. Floss reaches below the gumline into the pocket area where plaque bacteria multiplies and toxins are produced. Daily flossing is required to hinder calculus formation, which leads to future breakdown. There are other dental tools that can be used to clean between teeth but floss is the only one that can remove plaque below the gumline. Children can be expected to start flossing for themselves, around age eight. Until then, parents need to floss for them. Guidance from your hygienist on how to floss your child’s teeth is advisable. The trick is to start early.

Which floss is the best?

There are dozens of flosses on the market, waxed, unwaxed, flat, round string, ribbon, textured, spongy, flavored, fluoridated, etc. According to a recent study from Ohio State University-Columbus, there aren’t significant differences between flosses. The primary issue is comfort and ease of use for the flosser. In my opinion, a flat, waxed floss is preferred because it is less likely that the gum tissue will be cut. For my patients who have wider spaces between their teeth, I recommend the textured or woven flosses. You can get a floss recommendation from your own hygienist, and once you’ve tried a few different types, I’m sure you’ll find a favorite. Flossing aids are very popular. They simplify hold the floss. They are especially useful for people who have trouble flossing with their fingers. I prefer the disposable floss holders that have the floss already attached. They are available in bright colors and smaller sizes for children.

What’s the best time to floss?

The ideal time to floss is before bed. As stated before, it is imperative that your mouth is clean before sleep because the levels of bacteria in the mouth rise during sleep. I encourage my patients with periodontal disease to floss at night to gain the greatest benefit. But if your teeth are relatively healthy, you can be flexible about when you floss. You don’t even have to floss at the same time as you brush. The important thing to remember is that you should floss once within a 24-hour period. Remember, plaque will start to calcify and form calculus within that time frame.

How do you floss?

Proper flossing is a skill that takes time and practice to master. You will need perseverance and patience if you are just beginning, but the end result is worth the effort. If you have never flossed before, it will probably take about two weeks of daily practice to get the hang of it. Make the commitment to yourself to try flossing at least once a day for two weeks. If you are having trouble with a particular area, don’t give up on the rest of your teeth. At your next dental appointment, tell your hygienist where you are having trouble. She may have a flossing tool to recommend. I encourage patients to call me during office hours if they have any questions or concerns regarding their oral hygiene. The dental staff at your office is there to assist you, don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Flossing technique

While flossing, keep in mind that you are not cleaning the space between the teeth or the gum. You are cleaning the tooth itself. The floss should hug the tooth when being inserted. Use a back and forth motion to guide the floss down the tooth. When you feel a slight resistance, stop, and slide the floss in an up-and-down motion to clean the tooth. The floss should always be in contact with the tooth surface. Notice how the gum tissue fills in the space between the teeth. If you pop the floss straight down, you will hit the gum, causing injury and pain.

Choosing Oral Hygiene Products

We have already discussed how to select a manual toothbrush and dental floss, but there are numerous other products that might be useful. Walking down the dental supply aisle at your favorite store shouldn’t leave you feeling overwhelmed. A good starting point is to look for the ADA Seal of Approval. This is not a guarantee that the product will work, but at least you are assured it won’t harm you. I have listed the products most asked about by my patients.

Anti-plaque rinses

Most mouth rinses will change the bacterial level in your mouth. Even rinsing with water will have a benefit to some degree. The majority of rinses contain a percentage of alcohol. Sometimes, these rinses can cause a burning feeling, but for the most part the burning is harmless. There are times when rinses that contain alcohol should be limited. If you are pregnant, or if you suffer from limited saliva flow (dry mouth), then it would be beneficial to use a non-alcohol-based rinse. In my opinion, it is better to use rinses after flossing and brushing, not before. A good antimicrobial rinse (Listerine) used daily can help control early gum disease. Your dentist may recommend a prescription mouth rinse in cases of acute or advanced periodontal disease. They are only used as an adjunct to periodontal treatment and good brushing and flossing. Keep in mind, rinsing will not remove bacterial plaque.

Automatic toothbrushes

Using an automatic toothbrush can give you an advantage in your war on bacterial plaque. They are easy to use and are sold everywhere. Most of them have a two-minute timer (the optimum amount of time). The handles are easy to hold, especially for those affected by arthritis or diseases that limit motor skills. The cleansing action is greater overall and anyone can benefit, especially the lazy brusher. Sonic brushes are the latest to appear on the market. I have seen the greatest improvement in the oral hygiene of patients who use a sonic brush. They are generally more expensive, but the results are worth it.

Take care with medications

If you are medicated (taking antibiotics) before dental treatment, then these brushes might not be for you. It is imperative that you check with your physician, cardiologist or orthopedist before using any automatic toothbrush.

For kids with braces

Parents, if your children have braces, do them a favor and buy them an automatic toothbrush. You can’t imagine how difficult it is to adequately clean teeth with braces using a manual toothbrush.

Oral irrigation

Water piks have come into favor again after years of sitting under the sink. The new models are compact and easy to use. Some units come with attachments (Pik Pocket) that make flushing the periodontal pockets feasible. You can get rid of food debris in hard-to-reach areas (around and under bridges, orthodontic braces), but water piks will not remove plaque. They should only be used in conjunction with brushing and flossing. I have seen a decrease in bleeding gums in patients who use an oral irrigator regularly. Again, if you need to be premedicated before dental visits, consult with your physician before using these products.

Toothpastes

Like mouth rinses, there isn’t much difference between pastes in their effectiveness. Paste or gel is a personal preference. Gels are preferred when using an automatic toothbrush, to reduce splattering and foam. The main question should be: Does it contain fluoride?

Tartar-control pastes

Tartar-control toothpastes are very popular and are billed as pastes that will reduce calculus (tartar) formation. The fact is, they will reduce calculus, but only above the gumline. Calculus that forms above the gumline is strictly cosmetic. Tartar-control pastes do not affect calculus formation below the gumline where gum disease starts. Therefore, they have not been proven to reduce gingivitis.

Tooth-whitening pastes

Tooth-whitening pastes in general have little lasting effect on the teeth. I have never seen anyone’s teeth get whiter using an over-the-counter tooth-whitening product. Stain reduction is possible, but any paste can achieve this with good brushing. Due to the added chemicals in tartar-control and whitening pastes, some of my patients have experienced increased sensitivity in their teeth and/or gums. For this reason, I do not recommend these products to my patients.

Desensitizing toothpastes

Desensitizing toothpastes can be helpful in decreasing root sensitivity, but the relief is usually temporary. The active ingredient varies in the different pastes. So if one paste doesn’t work, it might be worth trying another brand. It could take up to several weeks before you will know if the paste is working. Read the label and follow the instructions to gain the maximum benefit.

Fluoride

Fluoride toothpastes and mouth rinses, used in conjunction with brushing and flossing, can reduce tooth decay as much as 40 percent. Regular fluoride use can also help desensitize and prevent decay on root surfaces in adults. In cases of excessive decay and extreme sensitivity, your dentist may write a prescription for a toothpaste that contains a higher dosage of fluoride. Children who receive fluoride from many sources (vitamins, water, foods, rinses, and toothpastes) should be monitored to avoid fluoride overdosing. Only a pea-sized dab of fluoride toothpaste is necessary for any child.

Interproximal toothbrushes

Interproximal toothbrushes are tiny brushes that clean between your teeth. The brushes come in various shapes and sizes that can be attached to a handle. As the brushes wear out they can be replaced. Some disposable pocket versions come with the brushes attached. These are great tools, and valuable in removing plaque and food from wide spaces between the teeth. Still, they do not replace flossing. These brushes should only be used in areas where they easily fit between the teeth. Applying force could lead to trauma to the gum and tooth. Toothpicks should be avoided. Since they are made of wood, they can break and become lodged under the gum causing pain and trauma. Sometimes it takes a trip to the dentist to remove them.

Rubber tips

Rubber tips are used to massage and stimulate the gums. They can be useful in decreasing red swollen gums. Rubber tips can sometimes be found on the end of your toothbrush or they are sold separately. Place the tip gently against the gums between the teeth and massage. Only use a light pressure, just enough to see the gum tissue blanch.

See Your Dentist Regularly

Even with good daily brushing and flossing, it is difficult to remove all the bacterial plaque that leads to calculus. Hardened calculus must be removed by your dentist or hygienist on a regular basis to help prevent gum disease. How often you need to have your teeth professionally cleaned depends on how long you can stay healthy between visits. If you have a normal level of health, six months is the suggested length of time between visits. Your dentist/hygienist may vary the interval from time to time to suit your needs. People with periodontal disease will need shorter intervals, three to four months, indefinitely. Others may temporarily need closer visits (like
pregnant women, patients with braces, and lazy brushers/flossers). Controlling periodontal disease is not only important to your teeth, it is important for your overall health. New research indicates there is a link between gum disease and certain heart disease. Additionally, doctors are currently researching a potential link between gum disease in pregnant women and low-birth-weight babies.

Conclusion

It is necessary to take an active role in your dental health, and your dentist/hygienist can assist you in keeping a healthy mouth. Fighting bacterial plaque with good oral hygiene is an integral part in keeping your teeth for a lifetime. An appealing and healthy smile is a great asset. A smile can communicate ideas and feelings. It can build your confidence in business and social situations. Good digestion depends on strong healthy teeth to chew food effectively. If you have loose or missing teeth, your health could be compromised by a limited diet and insufficient digestion. A clean mouth will have fewer dental problems, and your dental work will last longer and look better. The need for new treatment and painful emergency situations will decrease. All this will save you time and money at the dentist’s office.

So stay healthy and keep smiling!

Our vision is our primary means of relationship to the world around us. Of the five physical senses, vision is the most dominant and useful sense.

Yet, over half the people in this country (U.S.A) wear glasses or contacts. Needing corrective-lenses to see clearly is now considered normal, though there are ways to have better vision naturally without the use of any artificial means and complicated procedures like surgery. In this , I will disclose 5 keys to naturally better vision that has been tried and tested by thousands of individuals over years.

Key#1 Blink Regularly: Blinking is a natural preserver of your better vision. Blinking cleanses and lubricates the eyes. When there is no tension, your eyes blink 10-12 times every minute, or about once every 5 seconds. But people who do not see clearly tend to stare and unconsciously hold their eyes open, which causes strain as well as the feeling of dry and tired eyes. Consciously remind yourself to blink every 3-5 seconds. The more you blink the better it is for your eyes. Your eyelid is controlled by only one muscle. By having proper relaxation in that muscle, it can promote relaxation throughout the entire body. Flutter Blinking: To practice Flutter Blinking, blink your eyes lightly and rapidly 10 to 20 times. Do not strain or squeeze your eyes shut and relax your face as you blink. Then close your eyes and relax. Repeat this 2 or 3 times. Flutter Blinking will help to keep your eyes moist, relaxed and free of strain.

Key#2 Use your Peripheral Vision Your eyes may be offering you more than you realize. At the same time that you are focusing on one object, images are also coming into your eyes from your peripheral awareness – from the left and the right, and from the front of and behind what you are directly looking at. But unfortunately, people with poor vision have trained their minds to so intently focus on just one thing that they block out their peripheral awareness. This “putting on of blinders” breeds mental fatigue and a tense style of concentration. Whatever you are looking at, always remind yourself to be aware of your peripheral vision. Consciously remember to be aware of everything at the same time that you are looking at one point.

Key#3 Keep your Eyes Moving and Change your Focus. Staring is the most commonly practiced bad habit in regards to poor vision. Keeping your eyes moving and changing your focus is the most direct and powerful way to break the staring habit. Normally, the eye moves slightly 50-60 times every single second, constantly changing what it is looking at. This subtle movement is essential for clear vision; you can unlock tension in your visual system by remembering to change your focus frequently. This encourages your eyes to become more relaxed.
Whatever you may be doing with your eyes, you should always remember to shift your focus and keep your eyes moving.

Key#4 Avoid Daydreaming The word daydreaming is used to mean any mental activity – whether or not it involves images, that captures a person’s focus while their eyes are open. There isn’t anything wrong with the creative use of the imagination, but when daydreaming becomes a habit it can have a negative effect on your vision. Here’s why: If you close your eyes and imagine looking at a distant scene, your eyes respond to that, and change their focus, as they would if they were actually looking at that distant scene. So, if you’re driving down the road and you’re thinking about something else, your eyes are caught in a dilemma – what should they be seeing? On the one hand, they are trying to bring the road into focus and on the other hand, are trying to focus on what’s in your mind. This causes you to stare, creates visual tension and sends mixed messages to your brain.

Key#5 Look with the “Eyes of a Child” Engage in your world as a child would – with excitement, freshness, awe and wonder – as if you are seeing everything for the first time. If you are remembering to blink, to move your eyes and shift focus, to use your peripheral vision and to avoid daydreaming, you can get stuck in the trap of just mechanically using your eyes. There’s a big difference between seeing and actively looking. There’s always something new and different to notice.

Apply these 5 tips consciously and regularly and you’ll find that not only will your eyes start to feel more relaxed but your seeing will become clearer! Enjoy